Bill 386 wants to 86 Hogs From the Sky

In case you haven't heard, Texas has a feral hog problem. There are an estimated 2 M of them in this state alone racking around $50 M in damages annually. They are of primarily nocturnal, amorous and stealthy sensibilities. They eat, breed and destroy while evading bear traps, electric fences and the like.Enter State Representative Sid Miller, a Republican of Stephenville, with his solution. He wants to approve Texas House Bill 386, which would allow the hunting of the pigs from helicopters. In addition to evoking this and this, I think it's obvious why this is a bad idea: Hunting pigs from a loud helicopter at night will disturb the peace tremendously, (potentially) drive native wildlife from their homes and open the door to poaching with a heli, a vehicle that easily ignores property lines. Furthermore, I don't care if you have Pvt. Daniel Jackson on that chopper, uttering the holiest of holies before each pull. Landing clean, dignified shots at high speed at night (AT NIGHT!) will be virtually impossible. Imagine hundreds of pigs stumbling through the woods with trails of blood in their wake, hoping for the relief of death. Yeah, bad idea.

Look, if they want to get dramatic, they need put a new spin on an old idea. Set up traditional feeding posts with hired hunters (put it in the Stimulus Package!) and distribute sets of night vision goggles. You can bet there would be a Hog Rush from all corners of the U.S. trying to get a piece of this.